the vivid dream

last night I met you in my dream. it was half a year from now and you were here, in my city. we were walking down my favorite street and you reached out to hold my hand, intertwining your fingers in mine. everything felt absolutely real, the sun setting in the distance and filling the sky with different shades of orange, pink and purple, the smell of coffee from the local dinner on the street, the smell of your cologne, and especially the way your skin felt against mine. I don’t remember most of what we spoke about, but I remember laughing, laughing so much that my eyes got watery and my stomach hurt.

we walked towards the sea and the sun had almost set by the time we reached the bay. as the wind got cooler the space between us reduced. you put your arms around my waist and planted a couple kisses at the back of my head. we watched as the sun went down and the light around us disappeared, you holding on to me throughout. I wanted that moment to never end because I felt so absolutely safe in your arms.

I turned around to look at your face as the moon rose and the street lights came on. your face glimmered. I walked my eyes down your face very slowly, capturing as much detail as I possibly could. your shinny, straight black hair falling down your forehead and occasionally getting pushed onto your eyes because of the wind. your gorgeous almond shaped dark brown eyes, as captivating as ever. your cute little nose. your dark pink plump lips smiling at me. oh what a mesmerizing face!

I watched as the smile disappeared and the lips came closer to mine, touching them gently for a moment, before our tongues met. I could feel my heart beating faster and getting breathless, not wanting to let go of your lips even for a split second. you hands moved up from my lower back all the way to the back of my neck, pulling me in closer and shivers ran down my entire body. I felt like the void within me had suddenly disappeared.

and then almost instantly, you stopped, let go, and started to walk away. you left, again, and it hurt, again. it hurt like it was the first time you left, it hurt like it was the fifteenth. in one goodbye I felt my heart break a million times.