6 years old me - " I wanna be a scientist."
11 years old me - " I want to become a veterinarian."
16 years old me - " I.... have no idea ."
Funny isn't it? When I was younger, I had everything planned out. But as I grew older and closer to becoming an adult ,my sight blurred along with all my dreams and fantasies.
Every time a person asked me what my ambition is, I'd come up blank. My heart starts beating faster, my pulse racing and cold sweat greets my forehead. What do I say? I have yet to make a decision myself!
In truth, I admire my younger self. She was determined, ambitious and all in all, a dreamer. It's kind of weird that I look up to the younger me ,but it hits me hard when I think that I can not fulfill her wishes. My adolescence transformed me in many ways than one. I became different, I wasn't a dreamer rather I was a thinker. Does that make sense? Hopefully it does.
However..... my mistakes now would be a joke to my adult self ,with a tinge of embarrassment though. But whatever I do , I want to make sure of it and not regret it. Take my time. I don't want to make the "right" decision. Rather I want to make the decision that is right "for" me.
So this is me, a confused and undecided me. A me who will say ," I'm still searching" the next time anyone asks what my ambition is. And you know what , there's nothing wrong in that.
6 years old me - " I wanna be a scientist."
11 years old me - " I want to become a veterinarian."
16 year old me - " I'm still searching......"
So. What's your ambition?