I was just trying to help here. It wasn't my intention to seek for approval. I was just expecting a little of appreciation. I know that life is hard. No one said that it wasn't. I wasn't my intention to force people to understand me for my ideas. I only wanted respect. But I guess respect is overly rare these days.
I don't mind if you don't care. I don't mind if you don't give a shit. But don't give me that attitude because baby you know that I have way bigger than yours. In the event that you're not seeing it, I am the one trying to make ends meet. I am the one who's always adjusting. I am the one who's always making things less complicated than it already is.
I get tha you're exhausted. I fucking get it. But have you ever consider that fact I am exhausted too? That I am also getting tired of this bullshit? Don't shoulder the pressure all by yourself. You don't have an idea what's eating me inside. You don't have the slights clue what's fucking me everynight.You don't have an idea what kind of monsters I am slaughtering in the dark. You don't actually have to know it. I just expected for you to atleast feel the reality. You don't own all the problems in the world. So please don't act like the world is against you. And don't drop your bombs on me because baby, again, I know how to fight back.
I don't usually say ugly things loudly. I opt to keep my shits together. I opt to keep my mouth ahut because I know that the moment I open my mouth, worms will come out. I am not the kindest person on earth. I do have my limits. My attitude is ugly, remember? And I absolutely know how to kill a person in silence. Don't make me snap one more time. Don't push me to press that " I don't care " buttton again. You wouldn't like it. I promise.
I am not a saint. I have a bad temper but I am trying my very best to understand you. To adjust to your needs. To secure that we are sailing in a calm sea even if that means swallowing all the tidal waves around us. Even if that means taking all the storms and digesting it slowly. Even if it chokes me. Even if it hurts, I am making things alright.
So please be mindful. Because the moment I say it's over. Then it's already over. I am taking each step delicately because I don't want this journey to end just like this. I don't to give up on you yet. I know it looks like I am desperate but I don't mind at all. I just want you to understand that I am doing this because this is how I was built. This is who I am .
Maybe you're thinking that I am being too much already. Maybe you're thinking that I am already stepping out of my boundary. I am actually. I am stepping out of line just to make an extra effort to save us. You probably are not seeing my efforts but I am doing everything just for us to survive. I am not saying that I am a hero. I am just saying that I am doing this to support you.
Just in case you can't see it though, then here's my advice. Just don't wait until this bitch snaps.