I have always wondered when would be the moment where I would spit it all out..tell the people I love them that I do and those whom I hate that I will never forgive them, or maybe at that moment I will..
I have always feared talking about death, if I talk about it it means it is true and will come true to me..but that's not how it works, it is true for everyone regardless of their denial.
Seems that dying moments are the ones where you can't care less about consequences, so that's when you let it all out..
I have had friends who dies with a crush they never got to confess, a loved one they never got to forgive..
When I die I want to have no regrets
So here is my confession to you, maybe then you will know..
Or maybe you will hug me in my long sleep and eventually everything will be okay again..
I thought you liked me then I felt 'no way' you seem to like everyone, this happened toe before..one heart break was enough for me to learn the good lesson..so no I am NOT falling for you no matter what!!
You are the one I wrote most about
you are lovable, very lovable :)
You are kind and cute
Yet I can see you are lost, you can't surrender your heart to someone..to scared they might break it.. I am scared too, so that's where we both come from..a heavily broken heart
I know what I saw, your eyes full of words, not just words, fights, blame, screams, not sure what you wanted to say, I dream them over and over again
God I can't shake off those looks, may God help me let you go one more time.
I have managed to do that so many times before, this time it is a bit harder..maybe because I got to know you a bit more, so you are not as scary as I thought you would be..
Oh My God, seems I broke my heart alone with yours, what have I done, are we that scared!
Or maybe I was always right, you were never never in love or even like or even attraction to me, why else would you have waited that long to just start a conversation, by then I was long gone..long gone..not a chance I would have risked my heart by then..at the time I called it guilt!! I wouldn't bare see you heart broken knowing it was me..but now I know better, a guy is attracted to me and I don't give a damn if not being attracted back hurt him, seems I cared about you more than I knew it at the time..
Okay enough with the details, this should be a dying brief note, not some couples fight here..
Despite my efforts I fell for you again, and again ..got up again and again, seems a bit harder this time but I am working my way towards it, writing you notes, letting my heart out, and letting you know that you are confusingly warm and lovable..
And it's served me good to know my heart is indeed capable of beating for someone, I am not as cold as some claim
Also before I forget, you are a fighter, your parents would have been proud, lost in a world of uncertainty and heart breaks but a damn good fighter, also I am proud of that..
I have had with you the most meaningful smooth comfortable conversations I haven't had in years, not sure if you felt the same :)
And no friend zones are not real, we either fall for them or off them..and seems I fell for you
Be happy my friend ;)
Story