Whispering Voice

Sometimes I heard a voice.

She kept me safe—away from harms.

But I don't like her idea.

Her way of making me safe makes those people around me suffer.

The reason I never cared for anyone is because of her.

She's like my twin but... inside my mind.

Her voice did not affect my social life—as long as I keep my act right.

And right now I wanted to tell you what she's saying to me but I'm going to tell you the story.

There's a boy that I like, it's not a crush.

I flirt with him and he's just okay with that, like what I'm doing to him is normal (when I know it's not). We've know each other for 3 months.

and no, he's not taken nor I.

Today is our sembreak so I chat him.

And that is when I started to like him.

I thought this time, everything will turn out to be just fine, but I'm wrong.

He's responding to my chats and respond with my approach.

Funny right?

and then

She popped again, she whisper to me.

"Forget him"

She always decide that things that I couldn't do and I'm the type of person who always follow the commands or orders and I don't know why...

This time I insist, "Give him another chance"

Before she can say another word, I distract myself.

My goal is actually weird, because I choose this boy to hurt me, to teach me a lesson.

But with her voice, there's no way that I will get hurt.

Supposedly  I feel nothing and I cry often without any reason but I hide it with everyone except...

you, yes you, the one who is reading this letter.