"I enjoy my own company."
"I don't need a guy to feel loved."
"I'm happy this way."
Those are some of the million answers that I formulate everytime someone asks me why am I single.
Sometimes I give them the right answers but most times, I'm just unsure and just like them, I ask myself the same question. And then there's this moment where I get to be alone and have the time to solely think for the right answer to that question. Answers we're like shooting stars striking one by one. They're like fibers falling like raindrops from the sky. But i'm just gonna tell you a few because it's exhausting to type.
One is maybe because I'm scared to be betrayed like my mother when my father cheated on her. I saw her pain and I don't want to feel the same way. I don't think I can ever handle myself when I'm broken. I don't know how to pick myself up after falling and failling. It's hard to fall for a total stranger and give him your full trust, unsure if he's trustworthy or not. There's so much risk on loving someone. And to be betrayed gives serious deep wounds. It's hard to trust other man when in the first place, the man in your family can't be trusted. How will I ever be able to choose the right guy when my mother didn't even know how? Parents should be their child's role model right? In that case, my concept's already broken. I already have my trust issues and it helps build my walls up high.
Standard. I'm not that good looking and my standard for guys are really high. I know it's a bad thing and it's one thing that I hate about myself. This might be the result of being an NBSB (no boyfriend since birth) and watching so much romantic movies and korean dramas. Like what can I do? I'm always at home with the internet and T.V.
Boys these days have so much that I don't like. I'm not generalizing but most of the boys that i knew are disrespectful, impatient, irresponsible or just wanted a temporary relationship. It seems like they just wana date to show off a girl to their gang and not because they really love this girl. (I've experienced it so don't question my experience). There's also this guy who courted me and won't stop asking everyday of when will I say "YES". Like uhh-- it's up to me so you just wait? That's what I wanna tell him but I didn't instead I busted him. Fyi, he was just courting me for like 3 days and it's annoying. Aren't boys aware that courting is a stage where you should know each other better? Giving you permission to court is not saying yes automatically. You can get rejected so do your best. Put that in mind boys. Especially to girls that aren't easy to get, you always have to be careful.
Modernization has ruled the world,even in reltionships. Sad to say that the modernization in relationship has become bad especially in today's generation. I just don't like to have a love that is instant. I don't want to have someone just so I can show off. Love is sacred. And choosing a guy is choosing your future so I think I'd better be careful. All in all, it's better to stay single under this circumstance.