Why I'm Afraid To Love

It doesn't end well. It never does. It's always one-sided. It doesn't go as planned, as wanted, as prayed for.

I fall in love fast. I fall in love like there's no end. I could never figure out if it's worth fighting for, if I should let go, if I must stop or if I must hold it together.

For us.

For him.

In the end, I'll always get hurt. I'll cry. I'll hate myself.

Falling in love adds more reasons to have low self-esteem issues. My anxiety increases. So even if I want to be with someone, I can't get over the fact that I'll be expecting too much.

Maybe I shouldn't.

And yet... I do.

I'll always get hurt. I'll always be.