Why we lost

You were everything that I asked for and more, but why do I feel this way. We are growing apart every day, we try speaking our heart out but fail immediately. Some days I dread your call, but I still want to know how your day went. Every day I hope for an answer, "What went wrong?", "Where did we mess up?" I recall all our days, I carefully look through them for mistakes. Maybe we started loving too hard and the fear of the inevitable finally caught up with us. For you, the fear that I might leave like how she did and for me the fear that I'd be judged for all my previous mistakes. Our insecurities got the best of us and before we knew it the silence between us grew deeper and more stronger. The words that were left unsaid out of love are now the weapons of our destruction. They say silence is the solution to all problems, but I say nothing can cause more harm than silence. Words can heal, sometimes you need to speak, that was what I thought when I told you my troubles, perhaps you thought I was complaining. And I took your light hearted sarcasm for insensitivity. I don't know how love can become so complicated. A wise person once told me that love is 95 percent pain and 5 percent happiness. Well if that 5 percent happiness is worth 95 percent, I'd very well go through it all. I envy the people who made it through years of togetherness, fighting their own battles but winning them together, will I ever know what it's like to love like that. I ask God every day what's going wrong here, there is slight possibility that perhaps I'm the wrong here, maybe I'm broken and I need to be fixed. Maybe we all are a little broken and we all need someone to fix us, and you know when a relationship will work out, when you both start fixing each other.