Will I be enough if I will dye my hair like the color of the bright sun just like what she did for you to see that I can shine too?
Will I be enough if I will make sure my eyebrows are on fleek for you to see that I can make things equal ?
Will I be enough if I will put some colors over my face for you to see that I can color your life like what she did?
Will I be enough if I will wear those trendy clothes flaunting a lot skin for you to know that I can slay?
Will I ever be enough if I will beg for you to stay?
It started with cards, letters, phone calls.
It continued with picnics, trips, and star gazing,
It was not a perfect relationship,
We had our booms and bust cycles.
We had fights, arguments, and break ups.
We had plans about the house, the travels, the kids.
BUT! BUT!
It suddenly changed with a blink of an eye,
It was Saturday when you said you are going away,
It seems unusual to me but I let you go anyway,
BUT! BUT!
You left your phone,
There was this unfamiliar name in your inbox,
I never known her before, nor encountered her.
It scared me, really scared me to death as I go over your conversation,
You guys started with mails, texts, phone calls.
You continued it with late night drives, picnics and movie watching,
You had your almost perfect relationship.
You had your ups and downs but you always make sure she never sleeps crying,
You had fights, arguments, but never break ups.
You offered her the world and your future- our supposed to be.
I unwillingly felt such acidic liquid roll over my cheeks.
It hurts me, No!. It killed me.
Everything seems familiar to me now,
The moment you did not arrive during our anniversary, I waited for you, but you were there with her.
The moment you bought a ring I thought was for me but you said it's your friends' , It was actually for her.
The moment I feel so alone, cold, thinking whats wrong with me, you were there happy, feeling the heat from each other's arm, thinking it's you and her alone.
For the first time, I stalked someone on social media,
She got nice blonde hair.
Mines plain black.
Does my hair looked that dull?
She always wear make up,
I don't.
Does my face annoyed you?
She wears shorts, heels, sleeveless.
I wear pants, shoes, t shirts.
Do I look boring now?
Will I be enough if I will be like her?
No! Go beyond what she has done?
No! I will never be enough cause if I were, you no longer need to find fulfillments.
-FSC