Wonder Woman

What do you want to be when you grow up? 

As a child, I got asked that question a lot. 

As a child I didn't know why, exactly, but felt the significance of what my answer would be. 

As a child I knew there wasn't as much pressure to what my answer was compared to when I'm older. 

Second grade; I wanted to be a multi-media artist. I wanted to star in movies, perform and be seen on television, be interviewed on shows, and be famous. 

At 9 years old I developed a deeper love for theatre arts. I joined workshops to enhance my skills which was an advantage, being member of the theatre until 11 years old. 

Sixth grade; I felt the thirst to learn to play at least one musical instrument. I studied mainly the piano, with guitar and violin on the side. 

Adolescence came along with maturity and so I felt that I needed to dream bigger, or at least something more complex. I decided I wanted to be a doctor. 

Thirteen years young through sweet sixteen, I was certain. I was certain I wanted to wear that classy white coat and walk down the corridors of an excellent hospital - if I work even harder, I just might be the owner. 

I felt like everything was perfect.

I felt that I had everything under control. 

I felt I would finally be able to repay my mother for all the years of hardwork. 

I felt that finally, I will make her proud. 

Unfortunately, I felt wrong. 

I felt wrong about everything because at seventeen, I feel nothing. 

At seventeen, I feel lost. I feel like I don't know what I want to do. I feel like I have no idea where I'm going. I feel like driving to a new place without my GPS.

And at seventeen, I had more choices than when I was eight - pilot, lawyer, entrepreneur, scientist, etc. 

At seventeen, I feel like such a loser compared to my eight year-old self because at least, my eight year-old self knew what she wanted to be. 

Currently months away from eighteen, I feel enlightened. 

Now months away from legality, I'm starting to realize how none of those things that I said I wanted to be is as significant as wanting to be just like her. 

She's driven and kind. 

She's not the best performer but she never hesitates to dance or sing because she's confident. She's confident in her own skin. 

She never felt like everything was perfect. She was never sure of the things in her life but she didn't let that stop her. Things didn't always go her way but she carried on anyway. 

There were moments when she felt lost too, but she made her own path. She looked for ways to get out and make it through whatever life threw her way.

She puts her mind, heart, and soul into everything she does. She doesn't always have everything figured out and it's okay. 

She's my hero.

She's selfless and full of love. 

I want to be just like her.

At eighteen, I can be anyone I please to be - a performer, a doctor, a musician, a star. But above all, deep in my heart I know just how much I want to be like mama.  

At eighteen, I want to be the woman my mother is. 

At eighteen, I want to be a woman who doesn't always know what to do or where to go but trusts and believes enough in herself to know she'll figure it out. 

At eighteen, I want to be just like my mother.