I always wonder how my life would be if my innocence wasn't robbed from me by society. I always wonder how my life would be if I never learned how to fall in love. How sweet would it be if I remain true to my inner self and did not allow demons of my past, present and future to influence me. I wonder how'd it be.
I always wonder beautiful I would be if life didn't dictate me to be mad and crazy. I wonder how peaceful my mind could be if I didn't know about lies and betrayal. I could be the happiest girl in town if I didn't figure out how ugly this world. I wonder how my night would be if I didn't learn about depression and insanity. I guess I'd have a night full of dreams, not nightmares.
You see mate, I am not who I was before life forced me to change. I know this chant had been going through my head for ages but I didn't stop wondering .Really, there's no harm in thinking on how life would it be if I wasn't raised by my own demons. If life didn't succumbed me with hatred and pure dark intentions. No one would like to die evil. Even the most hatred villain has a story to tell, don't you agree? I, for instance , have so much to tell to my later generations if I'd be given a chance to even raise one.
I don't know honestly. Have you ever wonder? Have you ever thought of becoming someone not so you right now? Have you ever consider just for once, to change yourself for a better story? Because I'm telling you, that's what I do everytime I close my eyes. That put me to sleep.
I don't generally despise my roots. I don't loath my origin. I am who I am because of them. But sometimes, it's comforting to think that I wish I am not part of them. This envy in me grows everytime I look at others. But then again I am always thinking alongside with my lust for a new life and new self is the same line others would normally tell me. We have our own little demons. We have our little dirty secrets. We have our skeletons always and forever hidden inside our safest closets. We all do. Don't lie.
And just for the record, I adore my biological father as much as I abhor my mother. The love I have for him can be measured how much I hated my mother. And before you judge me or anything. Please don't. You do not know my story. I just dislike the thought of being born by her. Know this by heart, I am not a cursed child. I just decided to be a cursed daughter, with reasons ofcourse. Don't you think it's a little too much for this early Tuesday morning? Then share me yours. Tell me your dreams. I'm all ears, lovely mind.