YOU

You've changed me, I just don't know if it was for the better or for  the worst. Vivid images of us is extremely potent to the point that the images  flashes through my mind and freeze as if they're playing freeze tag. Each vivid image comes after one another as if they're standing in line at the grocery store.  I lie to my heart by marketing the idea that you'll return home and You  have had an realization that I'm the one....  and that we can conquer any obstacle that we may encounter. You've look me in my eyes and say " we're everything and everything is us". As our bodies send electrifying signals of love messages to each other... after you've completed your announcement of you returning to stay and I no longer suffer of loneliness and emptiness that I've been accompanied with for many nights. However, it's painfully unfortunate that the universe had declined the marketing pitch idea that I've sold to my heart .. the hope, the faith, the fact that I've swore to my heart just so he can feel at peace.... feel free! Most of all... So he can no longer hurt.

You...we .. was supposed to be together for ever! Even in the after life, we had a life ! It's war with my logical and my emotional fields. Surprisingly team logical is winning. Team emotions is rapidly fading away. "What was cloudy is now clear" team logical chanted as they're enjoying they're Victory against team emotions. I see now, I realize now. You ... You damaged me, you made me have trust issues like a little girl with Daddy issues. You tarnish my ability to love again.. To be happy again. Even though you're deleted outta my life. You... Still left a mess for me to clean up! I've been so focused on you that I've abandon me. I've neglected myself. I never needed you .. I wanted you. I wanted you like a gambler that has to win big. I've accepted the fact that I now appreciate you,I now forgive you . Shockley.... You've changed me for the better. So I say this with joy, with peace, and with closure.... Thank YOU.