You will always be my FATHER but u will never be my DAD

I'm sorry you missed out when I went to school for the first time. And you didn't tell me that  you were all mine. You weren't there to take me to the mall. And you weren't there to tell me I have to stand tall. And you weren't the one I saw when I came home that day, or the one I'd run to when I had a bad day . I'm sorry you didn't hear me write these; you'd have been so proud . You weren't there to lift me up on a cloud. You weren't there to tell me there's nothing to fear.
But then again u should have been here. I'm sorry you weren't the one who carried me on the back . Or the one who held me tight when strength is what I lacked . You weren't the one to hold me when I cried . Or tell I did great. When I really tired. You weren't the one to teach me how to cook. Or there at night to read me some stories . You weren't there when I was growing up . YOU REALLY MISSED OUT EVERYTHING IN ME . YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY FATHER BUT YOU WILL NEVER BE MY " DAD "