I have realised that it was the silence that tortured me
And not the spoken, hurtful words
It was the maybe-he-hated-me and what-if-he-does that left me here gasping,
Aching from so much more
More than the truths you think you know
More than the things you think that's true
More than the words
More than the blows
It was what you didn't say
It was the words left unsaid
The way your eyes looked at me
The way your mouth was set so hard
The way your breath felt so ragged
The way you look away now
The way you let go--
of me
of us
of a sigh that seems to speak of so much more
more than all the things you have already said
It was your silence now