If you just told me right away everything, maybe we are walking in a different story right now.
You are the man who knows everything about me, really you are.
You know how much to put when I ask you to prepare my food.
You know how to talk to me, scold me, comfort me, assure me and annoy me, of course.
You know how much I look stupid at night when all lights were out, and you just know how to get me out of the obstacles without losing the balance. You know how clumsy I am and my arms are always secured by yours because you know that if you just let me, the next thing will be me, stumbling, rolling behind.
You know how to listen to my never-ending, repeating stories. You are just so patient with me, gracious in all your ways. You keep on reminding me things I usually forget.
You told me that I'm strong and I believed you.
You told me that I can do it and I believed in myself.
My parents trust you in every way. They always know that when I'm with you, I'm perfectly fine, and you never failed them. You shared with me a friendship that is completely special and I always thank you for that.
You never let anyone look down on me. You got mad when someone told me that I was just like all failing women with men. You threaten boys around not to hurt or make fool of me. You are that sweet and sour, perfectly balanced.
But, I didn't know you are falling and I just keep on doing things the way we do it.
You were risking and I didn't see that. Even when people around me keep on telling how you're feeling, I ignored them and focused on our friendship.
I'm not scared but I really didn't see the possibilities because I'm blinded with our relationship.
You never tried to tell me and how am I suppose to react with your silence? I stayed as your best friend and I didn't know the hurt you've been feeling.
You never told me.
And that night,
you told me to walk away from you.
You told me to unfriend you.
You're hurt by hurting me, and I was hurt. I didn't know where were you're coming from.
You want me to completely erase you in my system and that is impossible. It is like taking out all the blood in me. It is like changing my legs into arms for an instant.
It is like a bomb to me, exploded in my face.
And when we saw each other after that night, I am the woman you never knew, never been with.
You can't even look in my eyes and that was the most painful thing you have done. You instantly got rid of my existence while I'm picking my pieces that has been scattered.
You were hurt I can't mend you. You decided to unfriend me because I am no longer a friend to you and you were scared. You were not telling me anything and I gave in to silence.
The next thing I know, I lost you.
I lost you.
I asked myself hundred times.
What if you told me everything?
Maybe, you're still guiding me in the dark, getting my food, listening to my stories, laughing with me, staying silent with me, making fun of me and doing this and that for all your lifetime with me and the pleasure will be mine.