Why can't we?

Why do we always fall for someone we can't have? Why does fate let us meet if we can't be together? Why is fate so unfair?

Babe, I love you so much. I feel at peace when I'm with you. But how were you able to let go of us easily? I never saw you hesitate, which killed me inside. How could you? I was down on my knees again, begging you to change your mind. To fight for us, even if it is against our culture or even society's standards. You said you loved me, but why did you let me go? I want you so much.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you or even confess to you. But you blew my wall and everything was beyond my control. You made me notice you out of nowhere. You pulled me away from the monochromatic game I was playing. And I wasn't even able to prevent it from happening. I don't understand how it happened and I think I never will.

And now, I'm alone again. I'm hurting. I'm missing you. How could you end up like that? And you want us to continue seeing each other as friends? What about me? You know, I want more than that. I don't want to be your friend. I can't imagine a life without you. You taught me to love myself- my insecurities and flaws.

I know everybody around us will frown and feel disgusted if they find out about our relationship. I know it's in our culture and society's morality. Regretfully, we can't do a thing about it. I know you care about our reputation. I understand your reason, but it's just a part of me that wants to fight against the odds and make this work. Maybe they will accept it. Am I selfish if I refuse to accept the truth? Am I selfish for refusing to let you go?

What should I do about these feelings? They keep overflowing. I know it's a losing battle. But I still want to fight for it. I'm sorry if I'm desperate. I wanted this to work out. But, I can't win this alone.

Maybe fate will bring us together in another lifetime at the right moment, at the right time, and in the right circumstances. In another lifetime where the morality nor our culture will break us apart. Promise me, let us love each other the way we should've loved from the start.

Until then, I'll keep my feelings for you behind closed doors where no one else will ever see them. 

I pray that in the next life you aren't my relative with the same middle name.