Someday

Hey, It's been a while.

It's been a while but yet I'm still hurting everyday.

I don't know who I can talk with, who I can trust about my feelings without judging me.

I'm having treatment, and recently I'm diagnosed by having dysthymia. It is a persistent mild depression.

I'm scared. Having clarity of what's happening with me what scares me the most. I want to get treated, to free my self. 

But this fear within me, that people might judge me, pity me or even treat me different because of having it is scarier.

Everyday I'm having trouble of sleeping. Thinking what if I'll dream of my dad again and see his sad face?

I'm just wondering, why does it seems that I'm the only person who can't move on with my dad passing away? Why does my dad kept on appearing in my dreams? 

I just want to be happy again. I want to wake up in the morning not feeling any more pain. I want to sleep peacefully.

But maybe not right now..

Maybe not in the near future yet..

But I'm still hoping..

Hoping for a better day.