I was so obsessed with him that I forgot myself...his problems , my problems... His thoughts, my thoughts... His suggestion's, my agreements...
I never realized who I was...I became him till a time came when he left me and I was empty...and all alone.
Sitting on a bed I realized I was - Empty. What was I? I didn't know who I was, I realized.
Was I kind , when he needed me to be that? Or was I funny when he was sad. Was I intelligent, when he was confused?
Who was I?..a depressed mess or confused?..
Who was I?
And that thought scared me.
Of the oblivion that was inside me threatening to tear me apart.
I had surrendered myself so completely to him ,yielded myself to him so easily. I had lost myself so much in him that I wrecked myself, every day i laughed. A part of me became him.
Till one day I was nothing. I dreaded the day every soul represented mine, for all those times I laughed to dismiss this insult or that, or laughed to ignore what was damned going on inside me. I now realize ....
It's too late to laugh myself out..
***
Author's Note: Don't be afraid of the oblivion... Be afraid of becoming one yourself.
©AkshayaGadre