A world where 'we' exist.

Most of the time, I was wondering if I could travel to the multiverse where you and I are in love with each other. A world where not me and you exist individually but together. A world where 'we' exist. Nonetheless, neither are we sure of the existence of the multiverses, nor we have any means to travel to any of them even if there is any slight chance of them being a reality. The only way to go to this world was through my mind imagining the possibilities of being together. And this imagination world was always a beautiful one.

I was extremely desperate to turn my only world into the multiverse I always imagined. So, I thought of making the last attempt to make Sneha realise how much I love her. My 2019 had an incredible headstart with a beautiful travel experience. It was the march end, and April was soon going to hit. April 2019 was unique in many ways. Being an Avenger Fan, it was the season for the culmination of many of the marvel movies. It was the month for the Avengers End Game. Also, adding to the bonus Stranger Things was also coming with its next season. But something more was there to be excited about April, and it was Sneha's birthday.

There was no way I could have talked to her as she still blocked me. And by this time I imagined what could I do to make her this birthday the most special one. I didn't have any means to contact her, and apart from that, I can't ask our familiar friend for Sneha's number. But something unexpected happened. It may sound cliche, but one day unexpectedly, I got a call from Sneha. She was coming to my city to record a song for an album that will release on Youtube. She was always into singing, and I was delighted to hear about her this progressive step. But the thing that was worrying me was why would she call me and that too suddenly after this long. It took no longer for her to reveal the cause to me. She called me because she wanted to give a surprise visit to Anamika, our familiar friend. Anamika and Sneha have been best friends for ages. But neither she nor I said anything about what was going between us two. But somewhere I felt that Anamika know a lot more than we think she does. Sneha could have given a surprise visit to Anamika without me too, but the problem was that she changed her address. Now she lives in a new place where she shifted recently in December and Sneha doesn't know about the new location. For a moment, it felt like destiny was playing out things to bring Sneha back to my life, and I acted accordingly, agreeing to meet Sneha, like a puppet of fate.

Meeting with Sneha was always more than enough to make me feel elated. Now destiny has played its role, and it was my turn to take the lead. However, I put on a sad face with some angry emotions in front of Sneha when we met. I didn't want her to knew how happy was I within my heart. With those fake expressions on my face, I greeted Sneha with a handshake. I wanted her to feel that she is almost like any other person in my life the way I was in hers. But inversely, the best part of her, which I always like, is her quality to greet people with a smile. And this cheerful, loving nature of her still melted my heart for her. And I again found myself in love with her when she met Anamika with a surprise visit with her favourite dairymilk chocolate in her hands. This time she wasn't alone in my city like she was the first time when she came to visit Anamika. This time she was accompanied by her friend, whom I had never seen in any of her more than 500 pictures on Instagram. Yeah! I was a terrible stalker. But this guy was no longer a mystery to me.

Meanwhile, Sneha and Anamika were having their moments together. I had some talk with the guy with Sneha. I took his contact number with the idea of visiting Sneha's college on the occasion of her birthday. I saved his number with the name 'Prem Sneha' to refer to whose number it is when the time comes. Prem was Sneha's classmate cum friend. And after having some gala minutes together with her best friend Anamika, Sneha left.

Sneha's birthday was almost only a week far away, and I had to do something to make her birthday special. With that happy evening that she had with Anamika, we were in touch again, leaving behind all the grudges which we had before. It almost felt like a new beginning. But I had no idea what things I should do to make her this birthday the best day she can ever imagine. For this, I had to think of doing something that no one has ever done for her before. In the position I was, it was tough for me to do something of that level. People tend to say that when you are in love with someone, you can do anything for them. And when I wasn't able to something that I wanted to do for her, I went through a feeling of doubt that am I really in love with Sneha?

The only thing I knew she loves is minion, and they make her extremely happy. I started looking multiple gifts for her that carries some essence of a minion in them. I explored Tshirts, but then I didn't know about her size. Then I scrolled through soft toys, and the good ones were way out of my league to buy for her. At last, my hunt stopped at bedsheet with minions printed on them. I placed the order but again to my bad luck I was late. The order I placed won't reach her on time as her college was in a remote location. I had no other option other then placing the order.

One day left for her birthday, and I need to do something more than a wish. I wanted to visit her and surprise her by wishing her with some gift. Maybe, this was going to be the last time I try to make her understand my feelings of love and care towards her. Somewhere my heart knew that all these efforts are going to be in vain. Someone was there in her life with whom she shares a much stronger bond then me. I told you I was a terrible stalker. I even used to stalk her on Truecaller. I never called her while there was a red dot in front of her name saying "on a call." I waited for the dot's colour to turn green, but the talks were long.

Meanwhile, I started planning to make a poetry video featuring her. I collected a lot of her pictures and videos from Instagram and handpicked the most suited photos that fit the lines of my poetry on her. This poetry video turned out to be the best creation of mine. I uploaded the video on my Youtube and scheduled it to publish five minutes before her birthday.

Only 10 minutes left for her to turn 21. I closed my eyes, and then I was able to have a better look at the thoughts running on my mind. All the memories of her were on my mind. From the first time I saw her to the last time, I saw her recently. In all the memories of her, she was the most beautiful and calming view my eyes ever saw, and my heart ever felt. I won't deny the fact that she isn't the most beautiful girl out in this world. But what I reject is that any other girl made me felt the way she always does, Beautiful.

Just 5 minutes left, and I was still in a dilemma of whether to call her or not. I dropped the idea of making a wish on the call since I'll not make it on time here too. I started typing a long birthday message which had a plethora of my feelings wrapped in it in one or other form of abstraction in words. I was aware of the fact that those feelings will always remain unwrapped under those words. She won't be able to read through the lines that I wanted to say. It was about time, and just one minute was left for the clock to hit 00:00. I quickly went to the Youtube copied the link of the scheduled video, which was private so that only those with the video link would be able to watch it. I switched back to WhatsApp, and as the 59 second was on the clock, I pressed the send button and then copy-pasted the video link and again hit the send button.

I felt so light after doing it all. It was like a ticker of a time bomb on my head. The stalker in me reached the TrueCaller app and again found the red dot. My instincts never fail me except for the time I had to guess the questions that will come in the exam. I was so tired that I went off to sleep, thinking about how will she feel about the video and all.

I woke up at 7 pm, and there was a reply from her with thanks. She also shared the link of the video on her WhatsApp story. She was so happy with the video and mentioned it as the best gift she had on her this birthday. I cleared it to her why I was doing everything. And Sneha said she knows it, but she doesn't feel the same about me, and she can't help it. The gift which I had ordered for her also reached after a long delay by Amazon. I waited for it for long and then asked about it how it was. Does she like the minions in it? To which she replied that the bedsheet doesn't have minions printed on it but Tom and Jerry. I was hurt deeply with everything. Nothing was happening happy in my life. This time I decided to move on without getting blocked from her or by deleting her number.

My graduation completed, and finally, I decided to move on from my unsettled past and decided to stay happy as single. From May to August, I was doing good in not making any mutual contact with Sneha. This time she was really like any other person on my contact list. It was a good result for both of us. Then one day in August, she asked me to help her in improving her writing skills. And like always I was never able to say no to her. With this, we started talking more and more to each other sometimes on calls, sometimes on WhatsApp. But most of our talks were related to writings.

Time passed, and September arrived. The most cliche thing that happened between Sneha and me was us meeting indirectly because of Anamika. This time it was Anamika's birthday, and Sneha wanted to surprise her. This time it was going to be the last birthday Anamika was going to have in her college life as it was her final year of graduation. I too wanted to make her day special as Anamika, and I was childhood friends. Anamika had no idea about Sneha coming to see her on her birthday. And again Sneha left Anamika surprised with her unconditional friendship toward Anamika. And I told her that I wonder how it feels to have someone that does this small acts of happiness so beautifully. To which Sneha replied she would come to my birthday and we will celebrate it together. And she left again.

Fast forward to December. It's my birthday month and the time from September to November brought Sneha and me closest than ever. She told me the reason why she can't have me as her partner. The fact she is still not over her first love makes her feel that she can't fall in love with someone. Also, the other relationship experiences she had were disturbing. She now wants to be alone and enjoy herself. She doesn't want to hurt me or my feelings, so she won't say anything like she's ready to come into a relationship with me until she feels sure about it. It was December 2, and she was heading back to her college for her practicals and that day I continuously forced my feelings on her like I don't care if I will be hurt and I only want one chance. The day passed, and the next day we had a long talk about each other, and somehow she agreed to give us an opportunity together. It felt like a dream come true, and I was delighted to hear that. It was so sudden that I didn't know how to react. We talked for long and long hours, and the talks were not seeming to end. We were starting to discuss everything with each other. We discussed our families and how our lifestyle was so similar. We talked about our deepest secrets, our insecurities, our dreams, our passion, all the memories we had, and whatnot.

It was a new phase of my life. I always dreamt of having Sneha by my side but never thought what would I do if that happens. Maybe, this was because I never believed that to be a reality. I always thought of being a part of the Universe where we both exist together. And, now when it finally happened, and I surprised every time we both talk to each other and interact with each other. And the time we are not in touch with each other we are in each other thought. This time life was nothing less than a dream. I was sleeping less as my real life was more beautiful than a dream at night.

I never defined love before and was always in search of someone to explain to me what it is. Love is not the same for everyone; maybe that's why there are so many definitions of love which we hear or read always. Love is an experience that can vary in the life of the people based on their nature, life's experience, their beliefs, their needs, and so much. We can't confine Love in words but describe. Love is never genuinely unconditional, and that's what makes it lovely. Like nothing is perfect in this world, the same is love. You fall in love to rise in it every day, every hour, every bit of your existence. All I know about Love is that it is positive.

To celebrate my birthday with the love of my life was the most fabulous day I ever had in my life. She was the prettiest and the unique gift I ever had in my entire 21 years. To step into the 22nd year of my life with my life in my arm was more than I ever wished. Love is from every big to even the smallest thing we do for a person in our life. Love is not about getting blind and ignoring the imperfectness of a person. It's about becoming a better version of yourself with the person you love.

I Love you, Sakshi for changing my life for good. For bringing the best part of me back to me. For bringing the writer in me again.