After All

Other End

What is in the other end of the bridge? How will I know if there’s something great out there?

I’m not getting any younger. Actually I feel and look like older than my actual age. I’m not comfortable to talk about some things that seem to be normal for many. What is my issue? I’m not used to be open about affection or being attracted to someone.

And why am I opening this issue now? Why not! For a change!

I have a crazy thought again and it is already somewhat bothering me. Have I been fallen into the curse of being attracted to someone or being interested to someone? Partly guilty, I guess.

Illusion of the Heart 

Decades ago, (mere exaggeration) I thought I had a chance to test whether or not I am capable of being the apple of the eye of someone. Assumption ate me; the fantasy world already invaded the reality.

I end up waking up with a severe headache and harsh it is, with an injured heart. I have moved forward and left it in the past. I realized that all I have felt was just an illusion of the heart.

A Twist

Why fate does love to make my world bounce a hundred times until I end up feeling and acting insane?

I don’t know how to explain but everything I thought that was meant for the person in the past, I have seen it to the person at present and like a game of puzzle, I continue realizing things that may lead me in making such puzzle complete.

A twist, their names sounds alike, a certain phrase that I liked to hear from the past I heard it from the present. It is unclear whether I can complete the pieces of this puzzle or end up reshuffling each piece again.

So close yet so far

A person who I did not expect to be part of my life brought the answer which I searched for so long. You were like a celebrity and I was just a fan waiting for a chance to have a picture with you.

The moment that chance took place I was blessed that you have welcomed me and shared some stories of your life. Although now I am some inches closer to you, I still feel that I am hundred miles far away from you.

Thus, such feeling lead to the idea; that this feeling that I have now is again just an ‘Illusion of the heart’ because I was overwhelmed by your sudden presence in my life.

Apathy

I cannot forget the word you have mentioned. If you can still remember it and you are truly intelligent then you will know whether you are the person I am referring to. I will keep the identity of this person for my benefit. If you have the courage to ask me whether it is you that this composition pertains to then take the chance and ask me.

I am in a self struggle in my journey in pursuing my dream. I am in a dangerous place and situation.

If you are brave enough you may help me construct a bridge to make a way for my road less journey and one by one give me the pieces of the puzzle I am trying to complete.

Or if you are too patient to wait for me in uncertainty if I could finish constructing my bridge then let us both suffer the feeling of uncertainty. If you lack interest in all the things I have said then it is a clear answer that everything I feel is just an illusion of the heart.

 A choice not considering the consequence

In my act of composing this, I have not considered yet the consequence that might arise. I just want to let go the things which bothers me. And I just want to have a well founded evidence to prove whether my assumptions were just assumptions or it is a fact and has a basis.

-2013-

Years after... Everything fell right in its proper place, it was not just an illusion of the heart... The feeling that had been felt had a purpose.

It was to shed a light for the dark path towards the end of the bridge.

Disclaimer: The cover photo used in this note belongs to its rightful owner.