After the Broken-Mug

Continued after “The Coffee Mug”

If I was ice he was water…could change to whatever shape and color of the vessel he was kept in, had this brilliant character of losing himself in the crowd and still managing a high. I always noticed his eyes particularly, he had hungry, wise deep eyes. That was one of the most amazing evening I had. A thoroughly magnificent time.

All of the evening I kept telling myself that this was short lived . Only for this day. It is going to pass. Momentary. It was more of fear than consolation. And then my scare came true.

He got up to leave. Abruptly. (who does that!) Ok I was unnecessarily piqued. But I was.. My cheeks flushed red. I tried not to react. He was taking leave off of everyone. He came down to me, held my hand or gaze or something. Smiled a goodbye and left. Left. Just like that! (the drama queen I am) I said nothing. Smiled too and left after an appropriate time had elapsed post his departure.

The entire ride back home and the entire night. All kinds of voices in my head kept shrieking.

 An evening isn’t a contract, a smile ain’t a promise.

Yet however hard I tried I couldn’t get the feeling out. Something stirred in me. Uncomfortably. Everything that had been and said, was set deep within me. Which wasn’t much, obviously.

I would go to work for a couple of days after that, immerse myself in tons of work. Nothing helped. I grew angry at myself for everything, for that twinkle in my eye, for the flush of red on my cheek, for the swing in my walk, for my heart to palpitate so. I grinned wide. Idiot!

He texted me meanwhile. I didn’t reply. Thinking its too late , later cause it felt too early. I was nervous. A wreck. And the fact that he was in the adjacent block. I kept a distance thinking that would subdue the exaggeration my brain was going for. It didn’t help. Nothing did. All I wanted was to sit with him and smile.

I usually don’t go discussing my assignments or asking for help. No am not egotistical, am socially handicapped, if that is even a term. But that day sensing my distraction and in hope to have him helping me i asked for an aid on that job. Someone did turn up. But not him. It was worse now. I didn’t have my privacy or any peace or him!

Somehow I dragged through the day. And when my shift was over I rushed back to my apartment and retired early. For almost an hour I kept tossing and turning. Don’t really know when did I finally fall asleep.

The next morning I woke up with this terrible sick feeling in my stomach. I somehow showed up for work. My help had not arrived(thankfully), and I soon learned he was being replaced by some other dynamic head. At this point the last thing I was looking forward to, was a smart mouth. Coming at loggerheads with someone! Aaaargh.. curse the moment I went asking for help. More trouble.

I had turned to get coffee when I dropped my coffee mug and all the papers and almost my laptop with it. I was frenetically trying to piece up that segment, absolutely dishevelled, feeling miserable..reduced nearly to tears when I heard a knock on my desk. Shit ! Not now, I had to say yes.

“Help?” a voice said.

I was tempted to avoid. I turned.

And behold, he stood there, witnessing the show.

I turned my face back. Radiant. I was grinning, brimming with smiles. How could he be the drug to my nervousness? I got up with confidence of a queen. By the time I had turned to look back at him I was all composed, controlled and poised with a stern look on my face(back to my old lovely grumpy self).

“We are even then”

“Excuse me?” I asked perplexed.

“I said we are even, You broke my mug and today Your own. This Your hobby, breaking coffee mugs?”

I flushed red. The Mug was his? And he knew! I maintained my stoic silence.

“Yeah, I know You replaced it too. But it looked nothing like my old one.”

Silence.

“Lunch?”

“No.” I said loud with a hollow prick. as if my “NO” would would bring him down to his knees. He would plead for one date. I would refuse and walk away feeling light.

In all honesty.. If that would have happened, I would have probably actually felt light. But none of it did. Instead:

“Indian? Mexican? Chinese?”

“I just said No”

He ordered Mexican rice with tomato salsa. I hated him. Loved the food. I was oscillating between extreme sentiments for him. It was exhausting. Anyway the food arrived and I hogged it down like a hungry dog(bitch maybe). I realised I was famished. I hadn’t eaten properly for days.

Alright I was aware he was incapable of reading my mind. Yet !..

The day ended (why?) ! and i went back home. Happy. White.

They say on a clear day You can see forever. I could. That day. I effortlessly was looking pretty. his charm involuntarily made me feel elegant and light. I felt BeautifuL. Lovely.

To be contd...