All Alone

"Why does people leave?"

For years i asked myself why but i never really tried to look for the answer

I'm scared to know the answer...

That maybe they left because I'm such a bother...

That maybe I'm different from the people they want to treasure...

That maybe I just don't matter...

Why?...

Am I really that annoying?

Why do I have to keep lying?

Why do I keep telling myself lies that it's just a misunderstanding?

Why do I have to keep feeling this way?

It's hard not having someone while you're dying from the pain they keep giving...

But why do I keep taking?...

Because I'm still hoping?

I have to keep reminding myself everyday...

And every single day until now I'm still dealing with the pain...

I'm still crying....

Why do they keep assuming that I'm so happy...

Is it because I keep smiling?

Is it because I've been hiding?

That inside this girl is someone grieving? Hurting? Dying?

I keep doubting myself...

I lost the confidence I have when I was twelve...

I kept my broken heart and put it on my shelf...

I need serious help...

But.. Who would help someone who's lonely?

And if someone would... How? They can't see this girl dying inside of me...

I just don't matter...

Not anymore....

The moment they left me hanging...

The moment they walked out the door...

I don't know what's worth fighting for...

Am I just trying to fit in all along?...

I feel like I don't belong...

And until now I feel so alone...