the apparition of a non-existent person

you weren’t there

i woke up this morning

and stretched my arm on the bed,

you weren’t there.

i lost you for the first time.

i went to the bathroom

and asked you to fetch a towel for me,

you weren’t there.

i lost you for the second time.

i made coffee

one for me, and your favorite for you,

you weren’t there.

i lost you for the third time.

and i lost you again,

and again.

and wondered how many times

must i lose you for me to finally forget.