AWKWARD

The moments flicked continuously through my mind like a movie playing on the screen
Each scene beautiful and outrageous, crazy even more
Our peals of laughter filled my ears like the song we've always sung together
Giving me once more the chills I've consistently felt when we were still friends

It started when you've asked help from me
Funny how we've known each other for so many years but I don't remember anything about you 'til that happened
Months passed and our friendship grew stronger
We were two happy persons with lonely souls
But then, we've found one another
We became each other's crying shoulder
I got you, you got me

Now, everything has changed
We don't talk anymore like we always do
We don't sit next to each other like how it should be

Why would I always turn around when I'd see you?
Why would I not return the gaze of friendship you're giving me?
Why would I always ignore you?
Why are my actions like this?

I'm wondering, always wondering
When will I stop from being a coward?
When will I gain the courage to be the soldier whom I always deem myself to be?
When will I accept that things changed because my feelings did too?

I've wasted you, thrown you into the darkness I've suppressed in my own world
And it will forever haunt me like the ghost of what had always been us