Because You Love Me

The first time we met i know you will play a very important role in my life...that's why i tried to ignore you so many times since I don't want to expect anything from you...i don't want you to cause me pain because all i want is for you to be a part of my life forever..i don't want to hate or resent you if time will come you're going to leave or hate me. I tried my very best to show you that i don't care even though deep inside i cared for you so much. I know i am unfair...i built a fortress between us; a very thick and strong wall that i thought no one could break. Despite my rudeness and coldness you still gave me your saccharine smile every time we see each other accidentally...you never failed to gave me your warmest hug that somehow made me feel better.  Days and even years had passed still you never stop showing me the kindness, sweetness and sincerity that you've been showing from the start. Until one day, the wall that i built and furnished with so much effort collapsed and you penetrated my whole being particularly my heart. You filled the empty space in my heart; the space that remained empty for so many years had finally got an occupant. You showed me what friendship really is. You made me feel my worth and made me realized that no matter how i tried to show kindness and care for a person if he or she doesn't want to stay in my life they'll leave me definitely...you showed me the other side of the coin when it comes to friendship which i failed to do in my past experiences. You are one of a kind friend because you never felt ashamed to express your true feelings. You never tried to pretend as someone just to please me or what...You showed me your other side too which made me trust you more. I'm also grateful because you care about the feelings of my closest friends .During our misunderstanding I’m about to give up since I can't endure the scorching sensation inside but my instinct told me to hold on. I am so devastated that time because the thought of losing you breaks my heart. I prayed so hard to our Almighty God for help since I don't wanna lose you completely. Until one day, we met again in the place where I considered as my second home. I fight the urge to talk to you since I don't want you to see my pain even though it's obvious since the sadness was very transparent in my eyes. I tried to act normal in front of you. When I put some foods in my plate...you told me that it's not my type of flavor. Honestly it made my heart jumped with happiness because you remember those little things about me. When you said "sorry" i know i cannot resist you since you already had a place in my heart. You told me the things that were left unsaid when we had our misunderstanding. You even say sorry to my closest friends for hurting me...you are not just a friend to me, a best friend, a close friend...but you became my older sister that i am dreaming to have...you became my confidante, my human diary and above all you're one of my inspirations since you showed me the real girl power when you graduated as the Summa Cum Laude despite your heavy schedules at school and at work. You're one of my role model when it comes to survival because you survived almost a decade by your own. Funny that i don't want to call you ate because i really like calling you by your name...and i liked the way you call me...at first i felt like duh-so-girly-my-name-huh but later on i started to like it since you're the first one to call me that way. Thank you so much for lighting my path and for showing me that there are still true people in this world. Thank you for giving me the chance to trust again...for making me feel that aside from Leo, Leana and Charity, i can still give my trust to someone. You made me believed that friendship means family, that it is not the years that we've known each other that matters but the people who remain in our life during our lowest as well as in our happiest times. You taught me so many things which i cannot have whatever degree I finished because the real essence of life is place within us and not with the academe or in any places in the world. Above all i thank God for giving me someone like you. We may not see each other always but you proved me that distance is not a hindrance for the friendship to flourish.  Thank you and see you at the right time. Thank you for loving me.