Becoming a better version of myself

I used to hate the idea of failing and being unwanted. When I think of these ideas, I feel like I become less of myself. Failing made me doubt myself. Failing made me doubt my credibility as an individual. Failing made me think that everything that I did was not enough. 

The feeling of being unwanted came from the thought of not being enough as a person. All I think was meeting other people's standard. My self-esteem became low. I didn't have any confidence to stand up and to speak the words I wanted to say.

These ideas brought different insecurities to me, until one day, I realized that it's so toxic anymore and if I continue the mentality that I have, I will not grow as an individual. It will just continue to stop me from achieving my goals in life.

Did I finally overcome the insecurities and mentality that I had?

Not yet, but I can say I'm getting there.

I finally learned how to accept failures. That failing is not an idea to hate but rather to accept the fact that failing will also make you a better version of yourself. I learned that failures is not the reason why you can't meet your goals. It's in your hand if you'll stop and accept your defeat or you stand and try and try again until you reach what you truly deserve. We will all fail. I swear. At any point in time, we will face our own downfalls but it's up to us whether to stop or to continue. Failing is a sign of growth. We learn from our mistakes, reflect, then keep moving forward.

We may not meet everyone's expectations but what matters most is that we accept who we really are. We're made not to live for others' expectations but to live life in our own extraordinary way. Conforming with the society's norms is not a mandatory option. People may judge or say anything about  the decisions that you've made, but at the end day, it's still up to you to decide. We are all entitled of making our own choices and decisions in life. 

I may not be the "ideal" person to say these kind of things, but I just want to share the thoughts that I've realized for the past two years. I, myself, is still in the process of fixing my individuality. I have many insecurities to cure but I'm proud that I'm able to finally open up about the things that I worry. Sharing these kind of thoughts help me to become a better version of myself and I hope that whoever reads this will realize that not everything that we've planned will be in our favor. We'll struggle to meet our goals. We'll meet different kind of people. Some will just pass by and some will become our constant. Let the flow of life be a stepping stone for us to grow and be mature. The day will come that we are all the better version of ourselves.

Lovelots,

shesvirgo :*