CHAPTER TEN : EVERYONE'S INVITED.

Chapter ten : everyone’s invited.

People always say that time is a wave that changes things in its way. Whenever a person goes through emotional trauma- losing a loved one or a break up or anything that can mentally hurt a person, the initial response by everyone around them is, “Give it time. Time heals everything.” But that’s just plain wrong- doing things changes them. Not just waiting for time to do its thing. Time simply is a deciding factor. Another question pops up- who changes? The situation or the person? People don’t change- they just become more of who they really are. Priorities change. Feelings- you cannot predict them. For Shane, his feelings for Tamara were hidden in a box- a box which she failed to throw away, too. Shane could never let his mind and heart forget her- she was too precious. Shane had made up his mind that he would never find love again. He hated Tamara for throwing their future into the gutter for a thing in the past.

But he had no right to rain down agony on her- he was guilty of sticking with the past too. “It’s sad, isn’t it?”, Jeff asked Shane, as he held the invitation. “Sad?”, he scoffed and sat down, with his shoulders drooping. Sad sounded childish to Shane, like something flimsy, something one could be able to shrug off easily with a smile of a friend or a happy song. But what Shane felt after receiving the invite was not simply “sad”. It sat inside like a seed of depression, waiting for the right conditions to grow, to send the roots out to choke his heart. And now, it had blossomed. “What are you gonna do?”, Jeff interrupted his thoughts, which were a threat. “I don’t know”, Shane sighed. “There’s a plus one too!”, Jeff exclaimed and looked at a hurting Shane, “Wanna take me?”, he chuckled. “Jeff, please.”, Shane pleaded, “She doesn’t know about you.”

“Why?”, Jeff asked, with his eyes widening.

“She left before I could.”, he sighed.

“Before you could tell her how you still have conversations with your dead friend?”, he smiled, slyly, “I can see why that’s a bad idea.”. Shane warped his head with his arms and fought his tears. They had told him t forget about it, to let him go. But how could he? Watching his best friend being snatched away by the woeful arms of death had been branded onto his mind. The good memories with Jeff Singler had kept Shane going but the bad ones, made him curl into a ball and never come out again. “You know Jeff?”, Shane looked up at his astral manifestation of his deceased friend, “There’s a part of me that is angry. Angry at my loneliness, because you are not here. I would have watched you drink and maybe shared a cigarette with you. But all I have is your accent in my head and your laugh. Now there are moments which I cannot share with you and I can only imagine what you would have made of them.”, he sobbed. His mind took him to the day Jeff had passed away. Shane had tried hard to push it away but it always was on his tail.

The truck driver was drunk and was immediately arrested for his mistake. Shane and Jeff were driving back home from a party, even after Shane had warned against driving intoxicated. “I can handle my booze, Pax!”, he remembers Jeff assuring him. The truck hit their car head-on and Shane escaped with a few broken ribs and a fractured skull. Jeff got one of his rib broken and being plunged into his own heart, immediately killing him. Shane always blamed himself for Jeff’s death- he felt he should have been in Jeff’s place. For most, death comes in a form of a robed skeleton holding a scythe. For Jeff, it was a rampaging truck and eventually, himself.

“Do you remember the times we used to run around with one of us sitting in the wheelbarrow or sometimes a wheelchair?”, Shane said, struggling to smile through the pain, “We used to joke as we ran past the old graveyard. But now, it isn’t funny anymore. I visit the graveyard every year and drink to you, sitting near your grave. In the end, I’m left with a hangover and the memories lost in the ether.”, he said, looking at an expressionless Jeff. “My memories of you are like ripples in a pond- they eventually fade away. And I never wanted anything to change. But here you are, slowly dimming away from my sight.”, he said, his voice cracking, “You gave me peace and a shoulder to cry on, even if you are not actually here. But now, I feel like it is time to let you go.”, he said, slowly breaking down. As much as he tried to hold it in, his pain came out like a uproar from his throat in the form of a silent scream. The muffled sobs wracked against his chest. The world was now a blur for him. “Time to go then”, Jeff shrugged his shoulder, “I am glad that you are getting over me. Do the same with Tamara.”, he said and leaned down to Shane, “Remember, getting over it doesn’t mean forgetting it completely. It just means reducing the pain to a tolerable level- a level that doesn’t destroy you.”, he smiled, “Goodbye, Paxy.”, Jeff said and looked at him as he got up and left.

“Tamara Streeter, Daughter of Mrs.Jaclyn Streeter and the late Viktor Streeter,

And

Derrick Getter, Son of Mr.Urien Getter and Mrs.Adriana Getter,

Request the honor of your presence

At their wedding

On the Fifth of May

At One o’clock in the afternoon

The Shangri La Al Jissah Resort.

Sultanate of Oman, Muscat 644, Oman.

Dinner and dancing to follow.

Black tie required.”

Tamara’s and Derrick’s marriage was inevitable. They were inseparable from the time they met. At the center of their universe, they found each other. They were relaxed in each other’s company, so caring. Their love for each other radiated from them, touching the lives of everyone they knew. Shane sat at the seat near the exit, eager to leave the ceremony after their proclamation of love. He was anxious and unnerved- he was seeing Tamara after a very long time. He constantly looked at the door through which the bride would make her entry. And when she did, it was a sight to behold.

The white dress draped itself around her, almost becoming one with her. The tattoo of a flower on her collarbone stood out- displaying the person Tamara was. Her now red hair tied up in a bow, her face had a luminous glow. The tattoo on her left arm was a little faded but the goddess made herself clearly visible. Her hazel eyes lit up the entire crowd, which was smiling and happy at the sight of the beautiful bride. She held the bouquet in her hand and made her way to the stand, where her soon-to-be husband was standing, looking at her with utter love and pure happiness. “Hi!”, she exclaimed, cheerfully, “Finally, eh?”, she asked him. “Yes!”, he exclaimed and held her hands. The priest carried along with the ceremony. But nobody noticed a dejected Shane, who was trying to forget everything. He almost couldn’t recognize her, with a new hair color and a smile she wore which was absent during the times spent with him. “Do you take Derrick Getter as your faithfully wedded husband?”, the priest asked, turning his gaze towards Tamara. She looked at Derrick and then quickly looked at the end of the arrangement towards Shane, whose gaze now was intertwined with hers. And that’s when the wave of regret hit her like a rock eroded by the sea. She said the words, “I do.”, but never shifted her gaze away from Shane, who now looked at her with tears in his eyes.Shane felt empty, knowing that he should be the one with her on the stand. His harbour from the storms and the gale, his fuel for happiness was now marrying the love of her life in front of Shane’s eyes and he felt helpless. But he never realized that being empty was not just about the absence of happiness and the presence of sadness. It was only about being full- full of the wrong things. He sighed and left, looking back at Tamara, who was kissing her husband. He left, knowing that his life would never be the same again.

The room buzzed with excited chatter and children ran between the tables in the name of the good natured game of tag. The bride and groom entered the room, to be met with applause and cheering. The happy couple made their way to the table and sat down, holding hands. They sat in front of a bouquet of baby pink roses and the groom leaned in for a kiss. After a few moments, the toastmaster rose from his chair and everyone else sat down. The sound of his spoon rapping on the side of his wineglass signaled everyone to silence and the children were shushed by their parents. As the toast proceeded, Tamara’s busy eyes wavered across the crowd to look for Shane, who had left without a notice. She was sure of the decision to marry Derrick, her childhood love, but for some unknown reason, when she saw Shane at the end, she felt wrong- she knew at that moment that her heart would never be at peace.

“Day I-did-not-keep-count.

I cannot stop loving you. You betray my feelings and affections and left my heart in shards. I remember how intoxicating your smile was, today. Also your laugh- it’s contagious. Your eyes never fail to mesmerize me. I know that you know- you can never return to the love that you had for me. And when I looked at you today,I realized something. I realized that I was holding onto something that did not exist anymore. That the person I missed, doesn’t exist anymore. And we could wish all day that nothing should have changed, but in the end, everything changed. I don’t know if I should let you go- I am afraid I will lose you forever if I do. I’m stuck, Tammy.”