Have you ever been pushed into something bad by your own choice?
like have you ever had that persuasive friend that would push you into doing the bad thing but makes you believe that it was your choice and decision ? technically he is right it was you who chose to do the bad and it was you who decided but if it wasn't for that friend of yours that thought would have never even crossed your mind, maybe it was something that you thought that you would never do, something you thought only the bad people would do but inside everyone of us there that person who is waiting to be persuaded to do the bad , to take the wrong choice, to take the wrong turn and there's no going back.
I had that persuasive friend but he wasn't just a friend, i had feelings for him, so love was involved, imagine that... someone you love is convincing you to give up the good in you, convincing you to be the bad person that you swore you would never be, He shoved a bad memory, choice and decision into my life.
Something that i cant take back has been done, something that i will forever regret, that i will forever try to atone from, i felt the guilt while doing it all the way down, So how do you expect me to be feeling about that person now ? that person that made you become the worst version of you ?
I should be hating him or looking forward to hear that something bad has happened to him, that i had my revenge but no, i don't feel that way.
He said sorry but i said i don't want his apology, it was not what i needed, i needed to feel like myself again and thats something that i couldn't have while i have bad feelings towards anyone, if i wanted to feel like me i had to become the person that i used to be, kind, forgiving, sweet, full of hope and love, he took that away from me and i'm not willing to take it back from him, i'll just recreate all of that inside of me, i already started and it was not that hard to let him go as i thought it would be.
Feel strong to break free, Nothing can hold you back from doing the right thing as its never too late, You can make things right, Everything leaves a mark but its just to remind you that you were strong enough to make things right once and you'll be strong to make it right every time.