CONFESSIONS of a HEART BREAKER

People say I am the best looking person they've ever seen. They say I have everything. I also believe in that, I know myself. I'm an honor student, an athlete, a performer and in almost everything, I excel. I jumped from one relationship to another because I was never satisfied. But when that person came into my life, I got fucked up

These past few years have been rough. I have been living with silent shouts of my regrets that pound my chest day by day. It feels like a big part of me is missing. Is it my heart? No. My soul? Maybe. My life? You? Definitely. I tried my best but after all this time, the emptiness has gotten the best of me.

You were perfect. You gave me all your heart and honesty. You tried your best to make me happy and contented but I showed you nothing but apathy, indifference, sarcasm and more bullshit I had came up with.

I was sour to your sweetness. I never expressed appreciation to your thoughts and efforts. I never paid attention to your persistence and passion. I took you for granted knowing that you would never leave me. That you were too inlove with me to be leaving and just give up. I guess I fed my ego too much those years. I was a fool. I never acknowledged you because I thought I deserved a better person but I was dumb enough not to realize that you were the best.

You then stopped showing up. At first, it was cool with me. I lived was as usual. I got into more relationships. I showed you that you never mattered anyway. I dated to make you jealous and pitiful. But as every second without you came, it was as if the hands of the clocks were pounding me mercilessly. Every effort I did to make you miserable came firing back at me with you doing nothing. It was then I realized that the efforts I did to make you pitiful are actually efforts for you to come crawling back to me.

I swallowed my pride and asked to talk to you. I asked you if you were okay. You said you have never been better. You told me you were as happy as fuck because you have somebody else already. Somebody who could love you more than his ego. Somebody who was not like me. I tried to be as composed while talking to you but I failed. I knelt in front of you and begged for you to be with me again. I knew that it was embarassing but I did it any way. You told me to sit at my chair, you left. Just like that. That time, I realized the pain that I had caused you for a very long time. It was tough, so tough. I thought, if what I felt was extremely hurting, I can not imagine what you've felt when you were with me.

And that was the last time I saw you. Days turned into months, months into years. I guess I'm the most miserable person in the planet. I thought years ago that I'm the best. I had it all. I had you but I had to screw it all up.

I guess doing nothing really could kill a person. I wish I could have done something when you were with me.