Crushhh

    I saw her in one of those weird dreams i always have, i was embracing her. She seemed to be loving me too. Only if i realized that was just a projection of what my mind wants her to be......but i enjoyed loving her, i enjoyed observing her from a distance......always careful not to creep her out. My head was planning things with her, endless non-existent conversations and rather ridiculous scenarios. Not once did I actually talk to her. She had a style of her own, a style that attracted many, I understood I had no chance with her and that was the most painful part because she wasn't just a mere desire, it was another human with whom I hoped to quench my desolation but there wasn't any way I could at least get acquainted with her. 

   Nonetheless, I still relish those moments, there was always a perpetual flow of excitement and a passion to do something so I could get something. The better part was that the crush was sudden and the heartbreak was gradual and smooth. Now the laziness and melancholy has again gotten hold of me and things are like they always used to be. And I guess i'm doing just fine.