Days I'm missing you

So I'm writing this series to let you still be part of my world even if we decided to cut ties. I'm not sure if you'll be reading this but still, it's worth the shot right?

You don't know how much I want to know what's up with you. Every hour of everyday I check my phone, hoping to somehow receive messages from you or updates on how are you. But wouldn't that be selfish of me?

Mian. I just miss you a lot.

Sabi mo naattached ka ng sobra. Well, di lang naman ikaw haha.

Anw, last night was the first night I slept without saying goodnight to you. But it was also the first night I slept with Vanilla.

I never brought Vanilla out of the closet coz I'm scared of it getting dirty or whatever. But last night, I can't sleep. Maybe it's because I'm not used to sleeping without your goodnights. Maybe it's because I miss you.

And I really do.

I wanted to hug you.

I wanted to bury my face on your chest.

I wanted to assure you I still love you and it's very hard for me to cut ties.

Nakukuryente ako haha. Ayokong isipin mo na madali kang iwan kasi hindi. Hirap na hirap akong gawin to. Pero para satin naman to eh, diba? Para mas maganda maging future natin.

Imissyou. Imissyou a lot.

I missed you so much, I even told Audrey (my sister) stories about us; something I don't usually do hahaha.

I told her about how you gave me Vanilla on Valentines Day. How you borrowed my locker keys to "test my earphones" when in truth you secretly placed a polar bear with chocolates and brand new earphones for your surprise gift.

You knew I don't like cheesy surprises but you still went on with it because you wanted me to get used to getting surprised by you. You said there'll be more surprises to come because we'll be together for a long time.

Until we cut ties.

But anyway, last night I slept with Vanilla on my arms.

The minute I held Vanilla on my arms, tears started to roll from my eyes. More electricity went through my whole body. My heart started beating faster and I felt as if I was really hugging you.

I burried my face on her chest and I could smell your scent very faintly. God, I missed your scent.

I remembered buying that cologne for you. I actually had just enough money that night for your cologne. Buying it means I won't have any lunch money but I didn't care. I wanted to buy something for you. And I never regretted it even today.

And you know what else I never regretted?

I never regretted loving you a lot.

You made me feel I'm appreciated and happy and I just I wanna let you know that I don't regret anything.

Iloveyou. And it'll remain like that until the day we're together again.

Iloveyou. And I'll come back for you, okay?

For now, this has been day 1 since leaving you temporarily.

Para kay OTO