Tonight

I lie awake on a gloomy night. Strangely, my bed doesn't feel so comfy anymore. Nothing but silence and the clock ticking above me could be heard.

I lie awake crying; doing my best to fight off my demons.

Dear God, I don't wanna hurt myself. Not again. Not tonight. But my hands' itching; my wrist, asking for it. I do my best to fight of the urge of reaching for a blade, but I'm not sure if I'm winning.

I lie awake screaming, on the inside atleast. I don't wanna wake anybody up. I just wanna be saved but I don't wanna be a nuisance.

I lie awake defeated. Again, I'm pathetic. A loser. A pain in the ass. Tonight, my demons have taken over me once more. And the happy, productive person that I was just a while ago, became a bitch who's just scared and angry and just wants all the pain to end.