Dearest,

One day, you'll find yourself staring blankly at no point in particular, wondering silently, when does the pain stop. You repeatedly ask the question in your mind. When? Tonight after you've cried yourself to sleep? Tomorrow morning when you wake up to the warmth of the sun? A week after, when you don't understand anymore exactly why it hurts? A month? A year? You slowly close your eyes and breathe and tell yourself one thing you know for sure: it does not end today.

So, you wait. You wait until that very day comes that the hurt fades. Until that day, you feel all the pain in you; your arms, the back of your neck, in your chest, in your gut, the people you see, the familiar scents, the conversations you hear, the sting in your eyes every time you are reminded. You wait for the sleepless nights to end, for your tears to voluntarily stop falling, for the throbbing in your chest to subside. But they remain. The feelings stay.

You go to bed tonight, try hard to lie peacefully and stare up at the ceiling. You take deep, measured breaths but they come out ragged as though you have been running. You bravely paste a smile on your lips in the dark as you begin to remember. Some come in blurred flashes, some of them are so vivid you almost see them before your open eyes. Your smile remains, but down your cheeks, the tears begin to trail down. Even after all the waiting, the pain remains.

Disclaimer: All images are not mine unless otherwise stated.