18-4-16
This year sucks !!
First reason - I am still unemployed
And second because..... hmm.. I don't know exactly.. but still it sucks.
I think this is because I have not written in my diary for so long. I have kept all the feelings inside me for a long time and that's making me nervous. I used to write in diary daily since childhood. Its my only friend whom I can trust with all my secrets. Hey that doesn't mean that I am having some dark, dangerous secret. Its just that I am so messed up inside that I don't think anyone can understand the way I think, the way I feel about the world and people around me. Now you don't tell me that you also feel like that sometimes because I don't want any other person to be like me. I want to be unique.
So starting from today I am patching up with my diary again.
Talking about patch up. I really wish to patch up with my ex. He was my senior. Cute, handsome and totally out of my league. I still can't figure out why he fell for me. I mean I am not that bad. I was the ranker of my class, was quite famous in school because of academic reasons. But when it comes to beauty. I think there were so many beauty queens in my class. And he could have got anyone from that. Because they all start drooling at the sight of him. They used to laugh more, talk more, and make flirty gestures when he was in a half kilometer radius around them. And I used to sit quietly, doing my own work, knowing that I am not going to get him so why to waste my time and imaginations. And that caught his attention. Thats why whenever I tell anyone about our relationship they would stare at me and wait for me to tell them that it was my belated april fool joke. Any way no need of bragging now because its over. The reasons were quite typical. We were too young, from different states, and our parents would never agree to it. But that doesn't means that we never loved each other. We still care for each other. Talk with each other only on our birthdays. And we both are still single.
I think he was the reason I took an interest in competitive exams. Because after break up I needed something to divert my mind and keep myself busy. Otherwise appearing for bank and staff selection exams were never on my career list. Even now I don't know what I actually want to become. At childhood I dreamed of becoming a teacher because my mom was a teacher. I used to play teacher games with my toys and pillows. Then I got bored of teaching and started having interest in cooking. So I thought about applying for hotel management. But it was too expensive and my family couldn't afford it. Then he happened. And my world turned over. Finally to get over him I joined competitive exam classes. And started appearing for every exams. Even though I didn't had any success with that yet still I believe maybe someday I will get a decent job.
Even though I had so many changing career wishes but deep down one career that I always wanted to opt was business. I am a commerce student and I love doing business. During childhood, there was a provision store nearby our home. It was the richest store in my area. And my sister and I used to plan about owning it someday. She said she would take all the beauty products and I said I would keep all the food products because I am crazy about food. And I really mean it. Whenever someone invites me home or whenever there is any special function in school or college, my only motivation to attend that was, "what kind of food will be served there?". My sister is a foodie too. So now you know why my parents couldn't afford about my hotel management course, because most of their salary was spent on feeding us.
Still my parents did everything to fulfill our desires. And talking about them. I remembered I have to start packing for my cousin's wedding. He is my maternal aunt's son. And he is a good brother to me. Good because he saved me a lot whenever I used to get in trouble. Once when I was in sixth grade and I went to stay with my grandma, I threw a club at the mango tree to get mangoes. But because of my bad luck it didn't hit the mango tree but instead it hit on my grandma's head. And she fell immediately clutching her head and screaming. I thought she was gone for good. And I mentally prepared myself for my jail life. But then my brother came and took her to hospital. Luckily for her, the injuries were not that brutal the way she screamed. My family members always used to say that she was a headstrong person but I never thought they meant it so literally. Because that club blow would have fixed her a ticket to heaven but how she survived that is still a medical mystery for me. And after that when everyone was going to lecture me, he saved me by telling that now grandma is fine so why to scold her. Since then he became my grandma's savior boy. Good for him.
I had always been a trouble maker. Even though I talk less, I have my ways of doing mischief. Or sometimes it happens without my knowledge. Like the incident at my community welfare program. We have this program every year during september, where all our community members get together, have competitions, and most importantly have a lavish feast. You would now think that because of feast I would have been a regular at these programs. But dear friend you are wrong. Even the lure of tasty food couldn't bring me there. I can't stand the gossip aunties, roadside romeos and boasting girls. So I never went there. But this one year my mom made me to go with her. And I am sure she would have regretted that, because she never asked me again for the program after that incident. And now you would wonder what I did. So as I said we used to have lot of competitions at these programs and eminent personalities are invited as judges. During one such competition, I was passing nearby a judge. I always have a habit of walking by swinging my hands. and this was the last time I walked like that. Because accidentally I knocked down judge's glass ( which was full of water ) with my hands. And water spilled over his pants. I said sorry but I don't think he accepted my apology, because nobody likes to go on stage, with wet pants, to handover medals.
And now my friend I think its really time to start packing for my cousin's wedding. So till we meet next time, remember me always. I know thats not possible because you have other things to remember, you have your own life.
Oh god.. Its such a stupid thing to say. But at least don't forget me.