Duty

My name is Helen Bay , I am originally from England , but I was born and raised in the united states , I lived in New York City for my whole life , I had a very comfortable childhood , both my parents had good jobs , I had everything I needed in my life : Love – affection – Family – Friends – money …

I was a hard worker student , I’ve never had C or a D , my teachers were proud of me , so as my parents .. Thanks’ to those years and years of hard work I have become what I am now : Doctor Helen Bay .

I worked at a big hospital at NYC , everybody respected me there as a Doctor , my life was so perfect ..from the outside . But what nobody knew about me , is that I’ve never enjoyed the perfection of how my life was , I ..i have always felt that there is something missing , or that something bad will happen to me by the end , I mean how can that happen ? I hear people talking about their problems all the time , why can’t I do that ? is it really possible that my life is that ..easy ?!

Every night before I go to bed I think of these things , I think about how can’t I enjoy the bless that I’m having , what ain’t I happy of my life ? I’m not some kind of spoiled adult who feels bad about everything thinking that it is not good enough , I am also not the type of person who doesn’t thank god for what he has and always demands for more .. So why ? Why still don’t I feel happy about the way I’m living ?

Thinking and thinking and thinking , all I did was thinking , so I’ve decided that maybe time came up for me to actually start doing something about it , I’ve set with myself one night , had dinner with myself , took a cup of coffee with myself , then , I’ve tried to get back in time as a far as I can to know how did I get here , I had too many thoughts on my head , too many details , a lot of memories , everything was so mixed up in my mind , but there was only one little thing that shines like a star between all of those memories of mine , and that was the fact that being a Doctor , was purely a personal choice , No one from my family suggested it , in fact they have wanted me to be lawyer ; but I always insisted that being a Doctor is the right choice for me . I had no interest at money , and I still don’t , I love my job because it gives me a chance to help people , to make a difference , to save lives . My happy moments were all at the hospital …Nothing for me compares to that immense joy of mine when I walk out from a surgery room knowing that the surgery was successful , nothing for me is greater than a patient coming to thank me for doing my job , and seeing him getting out of that hospital’s door with a smile on his face . Seeing my patients smiling always made ME smile .

That’s it , that’s what I want to do for the rest of my life ! I want to help people , I want to help them in the best way I could ! I want to heal them , I don’t want to see them feeling sick when I am around , I want to save as much as I can from human lives . But you know , there are a lot of hospitals at NYC , there are a lot of doctors , nurses , drugstores that can help people …People here are lucky enough to have a good medical care , they can even have plastic surgery’s if they want to and pay money to fix their nose or whatever ! that’s good ..that’s actually great…But what about other people , in other countries , who do not have this type of medical care ? No ! who do not have hospitals ? No ! Who do not even have doctors ?

There are a billion of people dying every single year because No Doctor was present in the place where they live ! That was it ! If I really want to help people , I should start with the ones who needs me the most .I should volunteer !

3 months later I was already in Palestine ; That Arabian country where there is war .. where there is blood everywhere … where there are babies dying every day … I didn’t go there with some political ideas , for me , it didn’t matter the cause of the war , all what I cared about was helping people and saving their lives while they are struggling every single day as if they were living inside of a horror movie .

When I first put my feet on the Palestine’s land , I felt so strange , everything was strange to me , even the air that I was breathing was strange because it didn’t smell clean enough like the one we have back home , it was dirty by the smoke of bombs ; the water didn’t taste like the water I have back home , the houses weren’t build as the houses that we have back home , everything was different , I knew from my first day at that country that my life will not be easy as it used to be at New York City .

They have putted me in a small apartment that I shared with an another female Doctor , she was originally from Syria but had a British nationality , anyway , I’ve started working the day after .

The conditions weren’t as appropriate as they were at NY because we didn’t particularly work at hospitals but we worked everywhere and anywhere , there weren’t enough hospitals anyway . The scenes there were Tragic with a big T ! we had people coming to us with no legs , with no arms , with holes in their heads … I’m telling you : that place is no good for little hearts , but I’ve learnt how to fight step by step , it was extremely difficult for me to work at first , I mean if u are a doctor , can u imagine yourself doing a surgery which demands a lot of focus inside of a tent and under the sound of explosions next door that are far just by few miles away ? Can you imagine treating a father while his baby son is laying down dead next to him ? the people of that land are truly warriors ! they are fighters ! They are weak and barely survive but still don’t run away , I saw 8 and 7 and 6 years old children standing facing a bunch of army telling them to leave their land in such a brave way …they still go to school even when there are explosions everywhere , they try to have a normal life by force !

How can I abandon such people ? How can I come back to my easy life while they need me in this place ? this is what I was born to do ! I am a doctor I have and I must help every one who needs me ! I wont leave , I will never leave even if it costs me my life , I have made a decision and that was the best one I did so far …I rather die doing the right thing , then live a million year with carelessness towards people , I have discovered myself throught the pain of this people , everytime I face one of them I see my reflection in their eyes , they have a certain passion that made their eyes shine at their worst moments , I was fascinated by the way they live ..Innocent people , far from all what is political paying for what they have never commited , i won’t say that I am jumping of joy because I’m living here , but I am happy because i’m helping out other people , that missing thing that I used to feel it before is gone , I’m no more empty from inside , I’m full ! I’m full of love , I’m full of giving , I’m full of help , I’m full of HOPE !

Ah that word ! –HOPE- , that’s the most efficient medicine in here ! people get recovered and survive for years and years thank’s to this word , thank’s to this medicine : HOPE ! they have a hope that one day they will be free ! they have a hope that one day they will get their land back ! they have hope that one day they will be able to walk in the streets in peace , they already have no fear , they already are brave , they already are strong , and all of that thank’s to the HOPE . They need hope more than they need air , If my presence as a doctor (just like all the other doctors in here ) can help them to keep that hope inside them in order to feed their souls then I will never even dare to think about getting out of her . I will help men , women , children and babies in the best way I know ...

I  Shall NEVER leave . 

                                                                                                #ManelCh