I'm really considering putting an end to my life.
I know how much it would hurt the people who love me, but I can't fight myself anylonger. I can't get out, I can't run away, I can't control it... I'm dying.
Don't get me wrong, I really don't want to hurt the people around me. I know I'd fuck their lives up. Trust me, I know and I'm keeping it in mind. The real me doesn't want to die in any way; it wants to live, laugh, enjoy life, party, meet up with friends... . It's the monster inside my head who's telling me I must die and that the way I feel will never end.
And it never ends...
As I'm sitting here, watching the life pouring out of me, I smile and guess what?
It ends.
Claire