If you have read my first story, you already know I feel very depressed. I had a meet up with my friends yesterday; it was great fun.
As the evening past, the depression started to swell. All of a sudden, I felt lonely, I couldn't enjoy my friends any longer and I had a hard time not crying... I then decided to leave the party (which was in my house) and go to my room, so I could be alone. When I said goodbye, I saw how much my sister and Yara cared. The look in their eyes... . It's hard to describe, but I could feel that they honestly cared about me. The other friend, Justine, she obviously didn't mind me leaving. I gave her a quick handshake and I gave the other 2 girls a big hug. I was barely 2 feet away, when Justine already continued the conversation they were having. That hurt. Especially because Justine is the only person alive who knows I struggle with suicidal thoughts... .
I spent the whole night crying and wishing I was dead. But the smile my sister and Yara gave me earlier, kept me strong; Whilst the indifference of Justine dragged me deeper down.
I guess my point is that a hug, a non-fake smile, asking how one is doing... all those little things matter. Even if you don't know one is struggling with his own mind, you can save his life by asking if they're okay... . Those little things are things I hold on to, they remind me of what I live for: my family and friends. The people I love and care about. The people I'd die for (this is quite funny considering my situation...). The people who are there for me when I need them... .
One day, I'll thank them for saving my life, not just last night, but so many times already.
Now, go ask someone you love how they're doing, it DOES make a difference.
Claire