Giatí? (Why?)

     Giatí (Why)       

        I asked myself one night, 'why do they leave?' Why do they barge in your life, do things that matters to you then in a snap they disappear? I have so many questions yet I don't have anyone else to ask this to, except myself. I wonder where they go, I wonder if I mattered to them. I ask the night sky about these things. About people losing interests to another and ends up abandoning them. Why do they have to be the ones who mattered? Why do they have to be the ones we miss? Why can't it be us? Why can't it be me? Why can't I be the one to leave them alone and crying? Why can't I be the one to just disappear after touching someone else's soul? Why can't I be heartless enough to abandon them? 

           I shed tears every night for the ones who left. For the ones who forget. I shed tears for the undeserving ones, yet i can't stop shedding more every day despite the fact that they don't deserve it. I wish feelings and emotions like these are easily abandoned. I wish they are easy to forget. I wish the water can wash away the pain that's carved in my heart, the memories stuck in my head, the feeling of their touch, their hugs, their kiss. I wish I can just remove them from my system. Forget them, erase them from my life. I wish I can do those things. 

But sadly, I can't.