잘했어, 수고했어, 고마워 (Good Job, You Did Well, Thank You)

There was this one day when I decided to work hard and inspire myself to be a better version of myself than the day before, than the month before, than the year before. It was one of those days that made me want to leave this shell of an emotional sad girl who only knew how to look at her mistakes.

And so, before I start my tasks, I’ve put together a playlist of the ballads sung by my favorite group, VIXX. Hearing their melodious voices, I was able to finish my tasks at a good phase with a positive energy that everything’s going to be alright.

But then, one song started playing; it has an intro that is unfamiliar to me yet so relatable. I stopped typing for a moment and checked the title on the music player.

The title says “걷고있다 (Walking)”.

The second I read what it was, I put one hand over my chest and prepared myself. It’s because ever since it was released, this will only be the second time I’m going to hear it.

The first time? I sobbed, cried and almost broke down. I didn’t know how to explain to the people around me why I was crying. I didn’t know if they will understand the feelings I get when I heard the song. Especially, that line, that line that says “잘했어, 수고했어, 고마워(Good job, you did well, thank you).”

No matter how I take that line, whether personally or for VIXX, it will tug the strings of my heart giving me feelings of being loved and touched. Loved: because hearing those lines somehow makes me believe all I’ve done has meaning and that they can be appreciated; that I can be enough. Touched: because knowing the song was made by the leader for his members, the overwhelming affection and love flows along the line and its melody. If you knew who VIXX is, you would understand why I can say this confidently.

So, I braved my heart and muster all the courage I can to listen to it once again; this time, without crying. I even put it on repeat because for once, I’d like to hear it clearly and appreciate every line, every melody.

But who am I kidding?

The second time, I’m smiling; however, the many other times it has been playing, I’ve been crying like a baby again.

Ahh~

Thus, I’ve concluded that this song will always have that effect for me: the presence of warmth touching the heart. It was the warmth you’ve never had yet always longed for embracing you with emotions that makes you want to be true to your own feelings. It's also the warmth of a big brother that has seen the growth of his younger brothers through the years in front of his own eyes. It's the smile he gives knowing these same people has given him the reciprocating warmth for the many years of his life. It may also be the tears he shed while writing this song having them in mind.

Yeah, it sounds so dramatic, overly poetic, but that’s what it is for me.

Thank you, God, for VIXX.
잘했어, 수고했어, 고마워, 빅스. (Good job, you did well, thank you, VIXX)