Have you waited for me?

I meet up with our college mates today. Unaware, they've mentioned your name. You just got married. It stung my heart and it all flashes back. The day we said "...goodbye" was the day I told myself I would never fall again. At least I would never fall to anyone like I've loved you. I would never feel the same pain again.

I remember how it feels to be in love with you. I remember how every second counts and how every hour feels like seconds. I remember how much you feel special each time I gaze at you. You said you see so much love that puts you on the clouds...in these eyes where you felt butterflies in your stomach. I remember when you said "I love you " on our first kiss. The touch of your hands, your hair, your skin and your soft lips.You're eyes and embrace that long for me. I remember when I whispered "I love you" when we were in the library and you smiled through your ears. When you laughed out loud when I said "cute" because you never heard it from me before. I loved listening to your voice even if you do not sing and I loved how you passionately shares the stories you read and poems you wrote. I loved when you screamed at me because I wanted to end us... Until that day came. You've called, crying, and you were breaking up with me but I've hold on because you've made me promised to. You've made me swear not to give up even if you wanted to. But then I called you back to tell you that I realized how difficult for you to tie yourself in this relationship. I can't let you down. I can't imagine people looking down at you because you are with me. And I dont want to see you shed a single tear because people lost their respect towards you, mocking you. You deserve someone who you can introduce to your friends and family. Someone you can be proud to be with in all your successes. (You never know how much I wanted to tell everyone you're mine, but you've made me pledge to keep everything between us). And my heart was breaking because I'm never gonna be that man. But now you found him... my heart is shattered. And only now that I wonder if you cried at least one night because you were missing me. I wonder, if you were thinking about me before you said yes and I wonder, if you still remember me. I wonder, if you cherished our moments together like I did, or am I the only one who remember everything.

I dont regret the day I let go. I loved you and I vowed to protect you.

It's been 8 years... I just wanna ask, "have you waited for me?".