"Hi.
How have you been?
Me? Oh, I'm fine. As always. Nothing has changed.
I am still the same old me."
The usual statements that we hear from the closest people we have in our lives. Realizing that life had been too shitty to them, little did we know about how they are surviving; how they are holding on.
How about me?
How am I?
Am I still okay?
Am I still breathing?
Yes, I still am. I still am breathing. Breathing every little thing that is good and breathing every shit out of my life. Life had been tough and rough. I did the "most" stupidest things in life that I enjoyed. There were some things to regret for but, things already happened.
How am I doing? Still trying to be okay. I'm still trying to survive despite drowning in the deepest part of the ocean of my pessimistic side. What was I thinking all the time to do such things to myself?
How I miss my innocence. How I miss being a wholesome person. I've become a total jerk. Here I am, hurting myself again. Here I am, trying to find an escape from this f*cking reality.
I am tired. I am just tired of everything. How I wish things would just end for me. But no, this is not yet the end. I don't know when will this end.