How I will love.

Yesterday when my thoughts wandered off to an unknown place,
I wondered how I will love.
The kind of love I will give to a person.

Till now, I have never had anything to love.
Neither friends, nor family, none are my loved.
I have never loved anyone. Truly. Ever.

Do you understand what happens to such a person when this person finally finds love?

I will pour everything into the person I love,
All my heart, soul and energy,
For I have never loved before.
Because you see, all those years of accumulated loneliness and un-loved feeling,
Has given me this great capacity for love.

So even though I am not very pretty, attractive or have a good personality,
This person who I love can be lucky.

But I don't think this is such a good thing,
Because everyone leaves in the end,
And when the only person I love leaves,
My world will end.

Because till now, I don't know what loving feels like, but when I know,
I sure as hell will not want to let go of him.
But he will.

All my heart, soul and energy will be sucked out of me,
I will be broken,
The kind of broken that cannot be mended with words or actions.
Love will break me.
Love will break everyone.
Love makes you weak.
"To love is to destroy."