I Hate You

I HATE YOU.

I hate you for not even trying to contact me for days. I hate you for letting each day pass without knowing if I'm okay. I hate you for making me cry the moment I lay down my bed and the moment I wake up.

I hate you.
I hate you so much for telling me how much you love me, but you are not even doing anything to lessen the pain. I hate you for giving me too much space I don't need. I hate you for promising me you won't give up, that you will understand, that you will never leave - and yet here you are not even trying to do anything to make me feel better.

I hate you for making me cry every damn night. I hate you for appearing in my dreams. I hate you for coming into my life and leave without notice . I hate you for easily breaking the wall I built to protect myself. I hate you for making me feel that I could trust my heart to you.

I hate you.

I hate you and it's tearing my heart apart. I hate how you became my happiness and my pain in an instant. I hate that I still love you and I'm still waiting for your call every time my phone rings. I hate myself most of all. I hate myself for letting you penetrate deep inside my heart.

I hate you, but I hate myself more - crying alone in the corner of this room, looking so pathetic, waiting for something I know is as blurred as me and you.
I hate you for being so numb to feel how painful every sunset is. I hate you for not taking chances.
I hate you that it breaks me this much. I hate you because you can survive without even hearing anything from me. I hate you and how you make me feel so invaluable everytime we fight.