I.. I Don't...

                She left and he never got over it. Her last goodbye did not sound real until he didn’t hear her voice for the rest of the day. Her walking away did look real until he didn’t see the rest of the day. She is gone and it didn’t feel real until she never came back that night. Each morning, he would wake up and check his phone to see if she had sent a message but she never did. He would look at the ceiling for several minutes until he’d hear her voice in his head asking him to get up. He would stare at his reflection in the mirror until she’d ask him to start his day. He would take a walk to get his day started. At the beginning, he used to see her in every women that walked the street next to him. Day after day, his obsession started to fade and after a month, he’d see her only in those who look somehow like her. He’d never arrive late to any appointment until he had to stop to look at every woman wondering if it was her. After months, he realized meeting her accidentally on his way to work was only a fantasy. Thus, he began wandering the streets after work until late at night. He’d come home tired and barely sleep. The next day he’d arrive sad, tired and sleep deprived. He’d keep looking at his watch: waiting for that second the work hours ended and wandering about hours started, and a picture of them in a park: waiting for the day they meet again at the same park they’d met the first time. This had been his routine for months, until his employers couldn’t give him any more chances. He did not argue their decisions, and happily packed his desk into a one box and left the same day. He walked down the path to his home, head down, dreams shattered, hopes low, heartbroken and mind far away. One question kept him awake the whole time: why did she leave suddenly? Once, a full moon sky in the beach, he freed his heart for the few hours he had before the dawn. No love could be greater than the one he had for the moon. At dawn, he decided to reach for a pen and paper and wrote:

“Dear love,

I loved you. I loved you as whole. You were perfection with all of your flaws. You were the masterpiece that God painted for my only eyes to see. I will never give my heart to anyone as much as I gave it to you. I haven’t been able to let go of you, because deep down, I blamed myself for your departure. I didn’t and I still don’t know why you left. Yet, you did and that what matters really. You broke my heart and soul and I blamed myself. Today, I realize I did not deserve any of it and I forgave myself. I forgive you too, for whatever it was that you did. I promise you to move on and let go of your memory. You were the greatest chapter of my life, but you were not the last one. I will find my way back to life and hopefully we will meet again, both happy and successful. Until then, I hope you the best wherever you are. I am free of your love. I am whole again, and I don’t love you anymore.

Yours truly,

Goodbye. “

He opened a bottle, rolled the letter, put it inside, and walked slowly towards the sea. As the salted water reached his foot and the sun was half-way up in the ocean, he threw the bottle as far as he could, with all his grieve, anger, sadness as fuel for his arm. The bottle in the air, he murmured: “ I… I don’t… “