I miss the feelings, not you

I don’t miss you at all.

To be very honest, I’m over you.

Maybe I just miss the feeling of being cared for. I miss the times when I thought of you as my superhero, the one who favors me when I thought the whole world was against me.

I don’t miss you at all.

Maybe I just miss the feeling of being prioritized. I miss the times when you were my refuge. You were the one who understands. You were the only one who was able to stand my stupid shticks.

I don’t miss you at all.

Maybe I just miss the feeling of being acknowledged. I miss the times when we would stay up until the wee hours of the day just talking. I miss how we can make interesting topics out of seemingly mundane things. You were the one who favored my random ramblings.

I don’t miss you at all.

Maybe I just miss the feeling of being bolstered. I miss the times when you were my shoulder to lean on. I miss the way you’ve comforted me during the days when I felt terrible. You were the one who kept me sane when I thought I couldn’t handle any more pain.

I don’t miss you at all.

Maybe I just miss the feeling of being validated. I miss the times when you would cheer for me whenever I perform. I miss the times when you encouraged me to keep going when I don’t think I was good enough. You were the one who believed in my capabilities during the times when even I can’t see the worth in what I was doing.

I don’t miss you at all.

Maybe I just miss the feelings. Maybe I just miss how they overwhelmed me. Maybe I just miss how I spent my time sorting them out. Maybe I just miss how I was aching to feel them. Maybe I just miss how I was so desperate to get rid of them. 

I don't miss you at all. I swear I don't. 

Or maybe I do.