i miss you

there's this heavy thing that weighs me down, there's this feeling that I don't wanna feel anymore but I can't help it. I don't wanna talk about it, but I can't do a thing about it. you left, and my world shattered since then. no matter what  happens, somewhere, my heart wants to share those happy moments with you. you don't care, never did. its okay, but it really isn't. I'm hurting, can you hear me? can you hear me cry as i cover my face with pillows and pillows, slowly closing my eyes, trying my best to sleep, but then these sad songs and dark silent nights make me feel all those feelings again and there I am, sitting silently in my room, feeling the water from my eyes dripping one by one, travelling through the depths of my existence, through the existence of your voice. 

I don't deserve love, maybe I wasn't made for it. heart's been broken so many times, never felt this weak. we got a dream, but then you woke up and left me in sleep. and I'm here, pretending to not miss you in the day light but failing terribly in the nights.

I didn't think about you for a week, and i thought I'm finally free. but then something happened, and connecting all the things I've been through till now, you were the one highlighted. everytime something wrong happens, my mind end up on you and then all i have is memories and tears. 

I miss you.