I still want an answer

I often tell myself that 'I'm okay now' 'I moved on already' and 'I'm happy'. But we all know that at the end of the day, it's still the same feeling. The feeling of brokenness, failure and unloved. I want to blame myself for being so weak, for not being able to move on that fast and for not being able to seek happiness with the litlle things in life. I want to blame myself for being so blind, for being so naïve, for being so attached with the person who do not even think of me anymore. I failed. I always failed. No matter how much I tell myself that I don't love you anymore, I don't care anymore, there's always some thing that comes up and it makes me remember you again. The times we shared together. The love we had for each other. Everything about you. About us. I still remember everything. I hate myself for betraying my own feelings, for believing that after a long time of spending my time with my friends, that I am already happy, it's still you. It's still you that I want to see. It's still you that I wanna tell my stories about how my days have been. It's still you that I want to hug. It's still you that I want to kiss after a long and tiring day. It's still you that I love the most.
How can I forget?
How do I give up?
How can I stop?

No matter how people told me to just let it go, he's not worth it, there's so many fish in the sea, you're still young, you're beautiful, just stop chasing the man who don't wanna look back, I want to be mad at myself because I just fucking can't.
How do I let go of the man whom I gave my heart and soul?
How do I forget the man who made me feel that I am loved, I am beautiful and I am enough?
How do I stop loving the man whom I loved the most? Whom I gave my all? Whom I gave my very best? Whom I thought I can be with forever through the good and bad?
I'm sick and tired of sitting in the same corner.
I'm sick and tired of waiting for something that I know it won't hapoen anymore.

Tell me, how can I unlove someone who just wants to be happy?
How can I untouch someone who touched not just my body, but my whole being?
How can I forget someone who's csrved in the deepest part of my heart?
How can I move on if my heart doesn't want to let go of the only thing that keeps it beating?
Tell me, how?

It's not that easy.

Honestly, I am afraid to love again. Because I know. I know, I will look for the same touch, for the same smile, for the same smell, for the same lips, for the same gestures, for the same love. I know I will still look for you. I will always look for you.

Your shadow, will forever haunt me.
Your name, will forever be my favorite.
Your voice, is still my favorite music.
Your face, my love forever.

I hate how how I still feel this way, because I know I'm just nothing but a person in the past for you now.

But I guess, it's part of loving.
Loving the person who can't love you back.

But I still want an answer.
Answer to the endless why's?