last night I texted you
I was crying, I was in pain
the worst breakdown ever you ask? so far I'll say. bawling at the ground, wishing I didn't delete your picture. wishing to see your brown eyes one more time when I look at mine in the mirror. our eyes were so similar, not the intentions. tonight I think I'll write the saddest piece I've ever written. its been an year now, my body's filling with regret. you say you don't hate me, oh wow thank you. thank you for pretending to be a nice and sensitive person, I mean it really did help me. help me to understand you're not someone I should care for anymore, but I do. I can't help it, so I pour it down on paper. I don't like my tears, I don't like you. But I love you, and I can't help it. I'll love you, I'll never not think about you and that what's scares me. I got a bad idea, to text you, and I did.
its been 9 hours, you didn't reply, tick tick the clock ticks, I'm trying. trying to not cry, oh i feel something, no I'm not crying its just this uninvited tear trying to make me fall apart, but no. I'm strong, I'm not crying. I said I'm not crying. yes I'm not crying. I know these are tears, but no I'm not crying. I'm not.
forget about me, I'm going to forget about you. but will these thoughts ever haunt you like they haunt me? I wonder how do you sleep knowing you broke me into million pieces and each of them still loves you.
I hate you, but I can't stop loving you.