I Want to Write

Feelings are almost bursting inside me,

I have no choice but to keep it in,

To make people think I am happy,

Binding all negativity deep within.

So one day, I decided,

To pull a pen out of my pocket,

I started to write what I wanted to say,

Instead of ignoring the fact that I'm not really okay.

My first poem,  I feel a sense relief,

As if some of my demented thoughts were actually released,

As if I was a mother giving birth to a wonderful piece,

It was a moment of comfort, a moment of bliss.

Times passed by, I wrote and wrote,

 Didn't think what people would say to me,  at first

Then an urge of pleasing people began to emerge,

Essence of writing began to submerge.

My abilities to write are now improving,

Not realizing my abilities to express are losing,

Then I stopped, because of this hopeless feeling,

Feeling of writing something that doesn't even have a meaning.

"I want to write again", I murmured.

Ignoring doubts, I turned on my computer

As I place my hands on the keyboard, I took a deep breath

"Ignore the people, write and express", I whispered.