I Wish..

I wish I could also do that. I wish I could get some revenge. I wish that somehow, I could hurt him the way he have hurt me. I wish I could make him feel the same pain I have felt and I am still feeling. I wish I could break him and make him suffer from the feeling of being so broken. I wish I could also take away everything he believed in. I wish I could make him cry to his sleep every single night. I wish I could make him try not to think of me the whole day but dream of me coming back every night and I wish he would also wake up feeling breathless and with tears running down his face asking and wishing desperately it was real. I wish I could also make him see how happy I am without him. I wish I could also let him go just that easy. I wish I could disregard him the way he did. I wish I could not care for him how he did not care for me. I wish I could also say to him everything he have told me. I wish I could break him with the same words. I wish I could just throw away everything we've been through just because I want to. I wish I could also tell him I don't love him no more. I wish I could look at his eyes without feeling my heart beating so fast. I wish I could blankly stare at him crying, desperately asking for me to come back. I wish I could coldly sit there, watching him cry and wishing he could just die. I wish I could stay still just like he did when all I ever wanted was run to him and hold him tight. I wish I could just forget about him the way he did with me... I wish... I hope I could hate him so that maybe, I can do all this things and just like for him, things would be a whole lot easier. And maybe, somehow, if he felt this - the way I have felt - he'll understand how painful, depressing, heartbreaking, soul crashing and emotional wrecking it is for me...